Identity Blockers

From my 2017 Retreat: “Diamonds”

I already know… one of my lifetime goals is to help women pursue purpose through deciding to love themselves, lead and leverage the playing ground by how they navigate the world before them. To live authentically, and experience Carpe’ diem! (Seize the day!)- via self expression, finding their voices and creating their own self-laws. Let me tell you… we cannot do this ideally with our identity suffering. There are many identity blockers that challenge us to think, behave and believe differently, every day of our lives. If we believe the things our minds tell us sometimes, then we will truly fail. And just because we have heard it a lot, doesn’t mean it’s actually true. In my dream, I desire to challenge women to be more of their ideal selves than who they really imagined themselves to be. I realized after working with so many women overtime – either through therapy, through small groups I’ve created for writing groups, book clubs, or mentoring groups that we all essentially desire to get to know ourselves, better when we are in the company of other women.

And better is good… because it helps us to stop and drive forward for our best selves. Just take time to notice and meditate on how you allow any of the identity blockers (above) to alter your course, in life. If you notice a few, ask yourself whats one way I can notice someone with the exact opposite ( of that identity blocker ) and ask them to share their story , or mentor me in some way, So I can learn that skill, too? I was just sharing with my mentoring group how I struggled a bit trying to determine what was right for me; as I began to wield my “two edged -one word. I chuckle within myself, because My ‘one word’ for 2020, has become a focus of intentional regard and expression as I reach for this new identity !

I am finding the more I, seek for meaning with my word, the more I get invigorated to say more. And then I smile, because ‘asking, seeking and knocking’ are all concepts to help us grow and evolve. They are all principles that help us to manifest and develop into our best selves.

Are you truly asking, seeking and knocking for opportunity? Because the promises attached to this saying says : If you “ask it shall be given unto you, seek you and you shall find, and knock, and the door shall be opened unto you. (Matt 7:7)

ASK: “to challenge , to inquire to be on the hunt for…

SEEK: this one means to answer, pursue, and track down.

KNOCK: Did you know to knock means to ask again? It also means to seek. ( haha!) Isn’t that interesting.. we are asked to ask and then ask again… and seek some more… (Never stop asking or seeking!) There’s EXTREME benefit in it. Pretty deep huh?

Manifesting you’re dreams is good, I suppose . Just be mindful to not always set out with an intention to show off your gifts. Begin with purpose, ride the wave… and then you will end up surfing into another plan, another opportunity and another way to manage your gifts with lots of supporters around you; asking : How can we be a part of this thriving community!?

No Longer A Wounded Soldier.

One day, I was in the woods, and I freed my soul. I attended a retreat, and sometimes that’s how you have to actually FREE yourself, you know, in nature…you go to those kind of places to retreat, and to hear yourself think, speak and and ponder. I really cannot recall the exact wounded soldier story; but perhaps this one fits. I did some soul work at this retreat. I came back feeling so invigorated.
It was in. It had autumn and to be honest, I was wounded. I had to get to the cool in the mornings, and I was trying to rejuvenate my soul. I was soul-weary. Just tired. The kind of tired you can be when no one else can understand it, kind of tired.
And here’s what I heard in my spirit: “No longer wounded, are you, soldier.” (Here’s a story that goes along with it, though…)
​It was a fierce battle even for a soldier as seasoned as he was. No one knows for sure how the events transpired as they did. When it happened, it was almost over before it began. The soldier has had a lot of time to reflect on the battles leading up to this one. It had taken years of faithful duty for his commander to put him in such a front line position. The soldier had been decorated many times for standing strong against the enemy. He was not one of the ones who had to be coaxed into battle. He had seen first hand the destruction left in the wake of his enemy. He had seen the destroyed lives. He cannot remember the countless times he had talked so many through tough and difficult decisions in their own battles. He had relayed countless messages from his commander to others who were looking to find a place of safety against the onslaught of enemy weapons. He knew the importance of being prepared for battle. He had seen a lot of others who were not well prepared fall in the fight. He had always tried to make sure every skill and weapon was razor sharp. He knew his life and the lives of others depended on it. There had been times when he was amazed that he was still standing when the day of battle had ended. He had encouraged many a young warrior to stand strong and not faint at the fierce attacks of the enemy. There were occasional times when he was allowed to get some much needed rest but usually his life was spent being in a state of alertness and total awareness of everything around him. It was very seldom there was a lull in the enemies attacks. Usually if he wasn’t fighting on his on lines he was helping a brother soldier not be swamped by the enemy. There had been several times when he had to call for reinforcements and there was a special squad his commander kept in store to send to every soldiers aid. This special squad was terrible in their strength. Nothing could stand before them but the brunt of the battle was not given to them. Those were horrible times indeed but he thrilled at the way his commander had taken care of him. He would gladly follow wherever he was commanded to go, without question. I suppose in hind sight he had been able to see the attack coming but it looked like the same kind of battle he had fought so many times before and he wasn’t overly concerned. After all, hind sight is twenty/twenty.”

During the retreat, I noticed the weariness of my soul.I didn’t quite know it was weary til I really took the time to pull away and spend time on myself.

Alone. Yet observing Self.
From the outside looking in.
Well, if you read the story above- you will understand the place where I was. Sometimes, our souls can become weary because of ourselves. We then find ourselves without aid or assistance even we are really in a hard place.
I never want to be there, ever again. So we were given this exercise on the retreat asking us to nurture and care for our wounded soldier by walking out into the woods and comforting her. Taking time to empathize with her and tell her that she had every right to protect this space inside of her and to stop fighting fires and putting out other battles but to learn to fight our own battle, and not feel guilty or alone any more about doing it. So sympathize and empathize with our need for self- compassion and herald the battles we have fought, but also congratulate ourselves for a job well done. And for having the COURAGE to endure.

We were encouraged to take time to HEAL.
And I made a declaration in the woods, that day that I would build my own fortress and support my own cause and begin to herald my own work before I supported another’s cause.
And I was set free.
Like a bird, I flew that day in the woods.
Since that day, many things have been born. And I am grateful.
So even if you don’t have time, today, read that story, ( either here, or above).
And herald your own cause, fight your own battle, and save yourself.
Listen. To Yourself.
Be With Yourself.
Heal Yourself.

You’re so worth it.

To Be Seen.

“I see you.”

It’s a phrase that several in my small family of African Heritage people ( I spend time with as a second family), say often.

Sometimes I hear people who really get a lot of pouring o to the lives of others … say often.

To be Seen.

What does it really mean?

I’m shall articulate as best as I can what it means to be noticed by someone… Authentically.

To be seen means to be heard.

To have someone hear your heart.

To have someone know you and understand you.

To be noticed and valued . Cherished.

To have your voice be validated.

To be trusted.

To be honored.

To be accepted.

To be learned of; develop interest in.

To inquire of.

To visit with,… delightfully.

To prefer .

And I’m certain there’s more.

But trust that you are in authentic relationship with someone if you have, and know and can perceive and BE in this type of authentic relationship of great value while spending time with a person as delightful as this.


Try My Self Care Course!

The Rhythm Conscious Life is my Self-care course you can manage and develop on your own , online.

Enjoy new ideas to establish a new routine at home .

Find yourself & make your happiness a priority, in your heart, soul and mind.

Consider a new and invigorating perspective .

Honor the time, your talents, your perspective and your well-being in a new way.

Trust your intuition .

Consider and value yourself, differently.

Click the link here, for more information .

On Healing.

I just thought this quote was phenomenally simple yet brilliant .

Perhaps it’s the reason reason why I advocate so strongly for self- care and healing.

Truth is, I haven’t said it so clearly, and so simply as this:

But y’all – Healing and seeking to be healed is not the easiest thing to do, but once you get there… it’s awesome attractive.

I mean to know yourself and have self-awareness and to have a partner who is the same- to have insight and understanding, helps you to thrive and grow even more.

I’ll come back to expand on these thoughts but for real.. I’d like to hear from you …

How has your reaching for healing changed your life and made you more attractive?


Keeping Your Drive & Motivation Alive!

For the longest, I have decided that I  would try to find out the secrets of being and staying motivated. I studied the lives of  the deep thinkers , contemplators and friends and mentors to determine what the find keeps them above water, and OFTEN it involves staying focused and on purpose, and what makes you happy. Hence, the name of my first blog – “Blessedness of Being “; located here .”

I also  observed this amazing blog by  Karen Walrond at and Deidra Riggs at: And their writing and projects inspire.

You will learn so much from these women, because they take risks and determine to do things they didn’t think they could, they did too much, and had to scale back, or they do things JUST FOR THEMSELVES , because it was necessary for their existence. Self-care can be so rewarding and  so  self-validating , that it’s cool. I have learned in my life that without self care,  I am spent, used up and of no VALUE to anyone.

Here’s what I found in my study:

1. Staying motivated requires a review of your personal goals and evaluation.

2. Mark and cart your progress  n order to notice your  progress!

3. Watching and reading motivational stories or speeches. * ( ) is an excellent site.

4. Eliminate your distractions, and  stay offline, set dates with yourself and plan your productivity.

5. Join a group of other motivated life pursuers and persons working towards goals of self-development, & productivity and allow their energy fuel you toward your goals.

Other  tips for motivation can be found at this awesome site!

I decided a long time ago, I wanted to be of VALUE to everyone’s paths I cross.

This is my motivation, and I choose to  be actively pursuing this goal, and  being an example of  a healthy existence and  a  role model for  good self are in order to reach my dreams.

It makes sense to  work hard for what you desire, and to be able to enjoy it, Make certain you have a paradigm and mental clarity for good  emotional, mental, spiritual and  social self-care.

Join our Mentor my sister Marco Polo video page! Email me at jennifer@ to find out how!

For the Love of Intuition💕

I read this in a very cool article in the huffingtonpost and you should too!

  1. They listen to that inner voice.
  2. They observe everything.
  3. They value solitude.
  4. They mindfully let go of negative emotions.
  5. They connect deeply with others.

Do any of these resound, with you?

I believe women who strive for intuitive sense, find value in most things in life.

Listening to yourself is the first step to being “authentically your.”

Watchfulness involves a mindset, but also an awareness.

In silence, you hear your thoughts .

Through connection, we blossom.

Utilize all of these mottos as fuel for your future.

💜 Owning Your Values.

I’m just here this morning thinking  Sisters,thinking about two things:

Your Values are embedded deep within you.

Owning Your Values was the topic of our first Mentor MySister meeting . We first began with a ritual of cleansing by letting go of a few things we brought to the table that were weighing us down. Some of those weights were silent and we brought cleansing waters to them, with a libation activity.   We poured and we cleansed, we poured, and we let go, we poured and we released.

Then we spoke about Values  we appreciated and we let those same values embrace our goals for the future. We placed them into expressed intentions,  and then we  expressed gratitude for what we have in our lives, currently .

We left with the question:

What season are you in currently?  


The season is changing soon from fall to winter… But recently shifted from summer to fall. We are half way through this season…

What will be your reflection on this season as change enters in?

Will you allow for change?

Will you be accountable to yourself, your future, your goals, your life?

Will you allow your Sisters to encourage you in accountability for it?

Moving forward with change and acceptance,  owning your values are the best gift you can give to yourself.

Transform Me

So I’m here sharing my one word ventures

It’s been six years. And here’s how I have transformed since 2013:

Here are my transformative “words” I have used as self-growth in the past few years; as my “one word”. I’ve completed this task both in person and on video and blog journeys with friends and can truly say: this journey has followed us, increased our stature throughout the year and transformed our confidence and our nature .

My one word embraces everything I plan on accomplishing with an intention for that particular year. And I set off exploring, self-reflecting, asking myself questions – to cement tfactors  of Hope, influence and purpose in my life,  infusing it also with an intuitive sense of  intentional being  and doing. 

Here were my past words:

Selfless– 2014 – This year  was all about letting   go of myself, and  trying to find myself.  For the sake of just struggling too much with others thought, and   not being mature enough to seek  God , first ,in everything.   I adopted a daughter this year, so it was a perfect word to use as a mom who was new to the game.

Priority – 2015  I don’t  recall much about the  year of priority, so I had to go back to  photos to recall what was happening for me.  All I know is I was slacking in some areas and it was a good word to choose. Documenting your journey with phots to remember it- helps to add insight when you reflect back on the year.

Conquer – 2016  This May be when I began to get serious about my words. in so many words,  I conquered myself, and my fears. I  reached past myself and began to focus on my  business and conquering things   that long held me back , through prayer. I also developed a tenacity that reached for new meaning.

 Embrace– 2017 I  developed a  prayer group and  focused on leadership principles and  shared with the women  who  were also interested in the same subject. The name: Shine. I began to also  embrace my “Next”.  Well,  I contemplated on what was next  in my life and God sort of led me into a sabbatical.  At the end of this period, I received   the gift of  chaplaincy and  a full time job and stipend.  
 Receiving – 2018 This year was all  about self- exploration. I hit a mid- life crisis, and had to determine whether I was on the ‘right track’ spiritually and mentally in  finding myself; in my work and my purpose with work. I believe I did get an answer.  I find that I am definitely supposed to be working with women, but also in a very spiritual sense.  And I am  also  moving towards my won wholeness. 

I don’t’ think I came into full revelations of that until the following year:  2019 (With my  two words) : Clarity ,… & Spontaneity.  

Clarity ,… & Spontaneity –  2019 .   Because I am nearly at the end of this year, I will share here, as well.  I have since moved  across  country,   established myself in a new  city –  one I haven’t really  experienced as an  adult – Rochester NY , my birth place – and  I have  received  clarity  about what God  wants to do with my life, and purpose.  I know there is more inner healing work, God wants to do – yet also work with my  families –  (  those  in my  family of origin ) ; and the families of the earth.’  (my clients in my field of work.) I also know I have a greater call on my life than I ever imagined. It’s a call I run to; yet I’m running from. I mean, who does that? Maybe I don’t really well I am able to function in this call..

When you ask for clarity , you get it .

I went through a flood in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that came to my back door. relocated to New York, and evolved again by returning to my profession.

I was vulnerable in all areas of my life … and dealt with lots of unrest- 2019 was a transformative year. However, I gained lots of clarity.

Which brings us to 2020: