After my father passed, grief reshaped me in ways I never expected. As I rediscovered my voice, grappled with the state of America, and embraced my word of the year—GIFT—I found myself stepping into the role of a gladiator: a fighter, a resilient woman, and a renewed version of me.

At 58, thriving looks different… but God is still working.

Goals and Gladiators,Part I

Hey there—
It’s been quite a while since I last blogged. It feels like I fell off the edge of the earth after my father passed away, but maybe that’s exactly what grief does. Grief shifts you. It molds you, reshapes you, and wakes you up to the realization that time has passed… and I have grown, I have shifted, I have changed.

On top of that inner transformation, I’ve also had to face the current state of America—something that, right now, I can’t say I’m proud of. I think of Scandal, of Kerry Washington, of Shonda Rhimes and her book The Year of Yes, and I think of “gladiators”—those who throw on their capes and, despite the turmoil and mess of life, choose determination over defeat.

That’s me lately.
A gladiator.

One definition of “gladiator” is simply: a professional fighter.
It pains me deeply to see friends who are fighting on the front lines of life, people who could be displaced, questioned, or moved across borders—and must carry passports just to prove they belong here. That hurts more than words can express.

In the spirit of gladiators, I realized I HAD TO PICK UP MY PEN AGAIN. I had to write—even if my voice shakes. Maybe I haven’t been as transparent or as authentic as I need to be, because there are some things I still don’t have the words for. And America, in this moment, is one of them.

So this year, with a few friends, we put on our capes and decided to “gladiate.”
To stay focused on our goals.
To write them down.
To ask ourselves:

• What does progress look like?
• What does success look like?
• Why did I choose this goal?

So as I share with them, I will share with you. I’ll keep you updated and share how this journey unfolds. But for now, here they are—my goals, my commitments. And already, I’m seeing signs of manifestation. That’s the good part, and depite the mess and turmoil that aches for friends and the people I work with everyday who are in the south of Texas, I feel like my role, my invisible cape, my voice, is important.

Interestingly, all of this started when I chose my word for the year: GIFT.
I asked myself, How can I be a gift?
And the first answers that surfaced were transparency and authenticity.

I was asked to speak at a women’s meeting at church—on the mind. I didn’t even realize I had a ministry for the mind until I looked back on everything I conquered last year. The battles I won helped me focus differently, achieve differently, and triumph in ways I didn’t expect. I am not the same.

Grief changed me, too.
Losing my father reshaped my soul.
Moving to a new state—again—and growing with my family has transformed me.

Thriving looks different at 58.
But here I am… cape on… heart open… watching God work.