Mentor💜MySister

I’m not sure if these are originally my dad’s words but they have been a stabilizing force me.

He spoke them in 2022. And they’re still here with me. And it’s 2026.

The words he spoke – resounded for years, and still do .

My dad passed away in August of 2024. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen someone triumphantly conquer death the way he did. I would engage him.

Often..

As he quietly slipped away. Some of those moments I saw, others were moments I did see but heard. He fought death. And he didn’t lose.

I would ask him- while he was fighting – the hard things of life – and talk about the things he didn’t want to talk about – but I still pressed on- and he knew I was. Pressing, but I think he liked the answers that came forth. He was a deep thinker.

The way he looked at me

with intention.

The way he stared—

then engaged me back.

Fully present.

Fully there.

Timeless.

I mean , then I’d leave his home – crying as I drove down Goodman St.- holding onto those words with me- asking God why He was taking him from us.

Dads words not only engaged me.

They danced with me.

Made me mysteriously reach for myself, when I felt lost , and without hope.

Once I was challenged – and burnt out – angry, confused, disappointed in people at work, and I went to talk to my dad {cause he worked with peeps in recovery from addictions}, and he always just knew what to say. And Dad just comes out of the blue with these words I didn’t expect: He said : “ Jennifer, deal with yourself honestly”. At first I thought he was saying I wasn’t dealing with myself honestly.

But then , I realized it was a mandate .

A mandate to walk worthy of who I was called to be.. not who’ I thought’ I was – and where I ‘thought’ I had to be. I was literally in a job that I had agency to move out of – to be free of and I did t take the leap. And suddenly, I realized it wasn’t for me. It did t appreciate me nor did it serve me or my purpose.

He was like saying to me in so many words: “Go where you thrive and step up a little higher.. be that person that you aspire to be.” And don’t settle for less.

My dad was so wise!

I didn’t realize how much I’d miss his wisdom until it was no longer present. When I couldn’t hold him in conversation anymore or hear his reasoning, his wisdom resound.

He was a very pensive man…

A contemplator. He would sit in front of the TV often, but I don’t think he was always watching it.I think he’d be there thinking… listening to himself think…- waiting for someone to talk to him. And we did.. that just happened to be where we found him.

And when he wasn’t there.. We – ( his adult kiddos, grands, and friends ) would seek out his wisdom and words. His adult kids would be like “where’s Daddy?” I remember calling my mom on the phone after he passed – asking: : “what ‘s Dad doing?” The words just naturally formed in my mouth – the words… they were there still – seeking his wisdom… asking the hard things, cherishing the memories,.. so I still ask. I used to often ask as I engaged him on his final days How’s your spirit? … wondering what he was thinking.

He was never bothered by my interruptions.. In fact, he seemed to welcome them. Loved that about him.

But then, … I still sit and talk to him even long after he’s gone and no longer here in spirit and I realize his wisdom is still inside of me. That I can make the hard decisions and do the hard things because determination is who we were. And because … well, I’m my ancestors wildest dream.

Ase’.

Thanks Dad I’m still dealing with myself honestly, Dad…I am .