ūüíú Owning Your Values.

I’m just here this morning thinking  Sisters,thinking about two things:

Your Values are embedded deep within you.

Owning Your Values was the topic of our first Mentor MySister meeting . We first began with a ritual of cleansing by letting go of a few things we brought to the table that were weighing us down. Some of those weights were silent and we brought cleansing waters to them, with a libation activity.   We poured and we cleansed, we poured, and we let go, we poured and we released.

Then we spoke about Values  we appreciated and we let those same values embrace our goals for the future. We placed them into expressed intentions,  and then we  expressed gratitude for what we have in our lives, currently .

We left with the question:

What season are you in currently?  

 

The season is changing soon from fall to winter… But recently shifted from summer to fall. We are half way through this season…

What will be your reflection on this season as change enters in?

Will you allow for change?

Will you be accountable to yourself, your future, your goals, your life?

Will you allow your Sisters to encourage you in accountability for it?

Moving forward with change and acceptance,  owning your values are the best gift you can give to yourself.

I am Enough & I am Insightful.

Where does your insight come from? I’d venture to say mine comes from asking questions I’m naturally curious . I tend to ask questions to understand better.

My mom says I would in the past, come in the house from playing, ask her a question, then run right back outside.

That was me.

It’s because I’m always thinking.

Being insightful requires  that we be intuitive human beings. I believe innately we all have a desire to understand the hard things in life.

We use questions to help us think clearly. We consider…and then we make decisions. For a very long time, I did not make decisions. I chose not to. Because I was too afraid. I decided that if I made a decision someone would suffer, and ¬†most likely that would be ¬†someone I loved. And of course, it would be me, so I just didn’t. Yet not deciding , was deciding.

History: I was in a relationship where I wasn‚Äôt treated very well, and ¬†I chose to stay. I did think of leaving¬†‚Ķmore than once. Yet¬†I suffered. ¬†I decided the day I made the decision to move on, that I would not be in a relationship again until I knew ‚Äúwho I was‚ÄĚ, in that relationship. Because I had gone so long in this¬†relationship without an identity. So long‚Ķ and didn‚Äôt change anything about myself. How crucial it was, to own my soul. ¬†Every time ¬†I gave my soul away, I would give away a piece of myself. I decided that I would work on ¬†changing myself, and start dreaming. I wrote down on a piece of paper all the things that were wrong. ¬†It turns out , those things were the things that hurt me the most, and had begun to leave scars. So I needed to leave, in order to no longer be treated that way.

And so I did. The day I chose to leave, I believe my destiny began to be¬†released. I began to “feel andbe¬†” happier in my everyday life. ¬†I felt a ¬†weight lift off of my chest. I began to smile more, and care less about the person who hurt me, and more about myself first; because for the first time I saw surprise in their eyes. They couldn‚Äôt predict my actions. And that was good stuff. ¬†And that surprise to me was a sign I was doing something right. So, I ¬†began to move along and do more out of the box ‚Ästselfish, ¬†yet self-loving acts.

Before I left ¬†the relationship, I was really meditating on hearing my spirit more, and one of the ¬†phrases I heard often was: ‚ÄúTake care of ¬†the God in you.‚ÄĚ The God in me, was loving, caring full of strength, love and full consideration of how to love others back in a righteous way, and that, I wanted to model for others, and for my children, one day as well. ¬†I began to keep my ears keen for people who demonstrated the same kind of love for me, and ¬†on the weekend of October 14th, 2005, I heard it. It as very keen,¬†and it was ¬†exactly what I was looking for. Although l really didn‚Äôt expect it so soon. A man I didn‚Äôt know very well, (yet considered a friend from a leadership event a year before) , began to speak to my heart. We talked ¬†for hours that weekend. And it was as if every moment was absorbed ¬†through my ears, into my skin, my intuition, and ¬†straight into my heart. He spoke to my worth. That honorable and ¬†distinguished man became my husband. ¬†All of the junk ¬†and the misconceptions and lies were washed out of my brain and my head was clear enough to hear it.

I decided that day, I would begin a new journey to loving me, because I knew once I began to truly love myself,   I would feel completely deserving o my own good. And even when opportunities presented, I would find them to grace my life with complete favor.

Insight involves  three beautiful life-changing  factors:

  1. ¬†Intuition. Intuition¬†¬†is¬†described¬†as :‚Äúthe ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.‚ÄĚThere are some issues we¬†experience¬†in life, we just know. We don‚Äôt know ‚Äėhow we know, but like my former pastor in¬†Texas¬†used to say:‚ÄúWe just know it in our knower.‚ÄĚ I have collected ¬†and meditated even,¬†upon this thought over and over when I needed to make a the right decision, and ¬†depending upon my ‚Äúknower‚ÄĚ was ¬†always what held me upright and allowed me to keep my head up ‚Äď without shame, in the end.
  2. Knowledge.Knowledge because it takes  the sifting of what we learn via our intuition, to help us move forwards without disgrace. and move forward with our heads held high in confidence we are moving in the right direction.
  3. ¬†Understanding.¬†Understanding¬†is like to icing on the cake. Once you have ¬†a good taste of it, it helps ¬†sort of¬†stays with you and gives you ¬†that‚ÄĚ forever-flavor‚Äô in life. ¬†If you have¬†forever‚ÄĚ flavor‚ÄĚ, you have ¬†wisdom. The Bible¬†says ‚Ä̬†The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.‚ÄĚ ESV. It also tells us ¬†to even not rely on our own understanding. I have seen far too many rely on it, and fall back on shame. And often disgrace, for a lifetime.

When you don’t have these three awesome factors,  you  fall upon inexperience, naivete’  you become neglectful, it effects your reputations and you  become really insensitive towards others. I used to always pray for God to keep me humble, Sometimes I believe the results of those prayers today are embedded in my character,  with insight, because I  listened within, and I heard myself speak in my heart, as well as my soul.

I  prompt you today:

To LISTEN to yourself.  Remind yourself constantly of what you believe in, and then…  walk it out.

As long as it protects your thought life, your reputation, your spirit, and your life hold on to what you believe!

Question: 

When was the last time you listened to someone else before yourself, and how much did it cost you?

Still Embracing… #Embrace2017

¬†So… EMBRACE ¬†is /was my word for 2017… and here ¬†I am… ¬† Check out my “GROWTH”, ¬†‘right here!

photo by jennifer owens YASB photography
Here’s One:

‚ÄúIf its ¬†both terrifying and ¬†AMAZING, then you should definitely ¬†pursue it! ¬†‚ÄĚ

 

( I believe I may write about the next one… so I am saving it…)¬†

Here are a few things I am  embracing:

  1. A ¬†new assignment– I have “fully decided to embrace my ¬†occupation with working ¬†with those in the field of substance use. ¬†I have struggled with this’acceptance’ ¬†for years- perhaps because my father was an ¬†alcoholic, and ¬†I ¬†just ¬†had personal reservations. ¬†But the more I think about ¬†saying yes – the more excited ¬†I become about helping ¬† them, ¬†and be ¬†‘whole ‘ people- and ¬†be successful at ¬†what they do; as well as their families.
  2. ¬†A new project! – Still working with women, but deciding even more… that I ¬†really want to do more and ¬†be a part of other’s dreams and projects as well as ¬† improve my own processes and ¬†groups . I have begun I am excited about helping ¬†another sister launch one of ¬†her dreams!
  3. ¬†A ¬†new ¬†approach towards seeking God. ¬†My “Examen” process is ¬†a ¬†really ¬†beautiful ¬†spiritual way of trying to find myself ¬†again, spiritually¬†and connect with God . I love the process ¬†of this, ¬†and the new community I have found. ¬† We all have ¬†“little rooms” in which we all hang out ‘ ; ¬†and communicate – and attempt to find God ¬†in our creative ¬†efforts, or our spiritual leadership.
  4. ¬†I ¬†am also ¬†embracing the need to ¬†just ” be disciplined” I am realizing ¬†that with greater ¬†balance in my life – I have ¬†greater ¬†discipline. ¬†And I am ¬†not ¬†really seeking to NOT DO ¬†some things – but to ¬† take time to ask my spirit how it feels to do ¬†it , and ¬† determine whether the act itself ¬†takes a anything away from me doing doing ¬†the hard work of self – evaluating ¬†and determine ¬† the height, depth and breadth of ¬†doing ¬†disciplined work. Hmm.. I have to write and then research more about this… ¬†I am not sure I really want to know.. but i feel its the only way to ¬†reach my ¬†dreams and ¬†my ultimate ¬†goal sin life.. to ” push” myself and allow myself to ¬†be ¬†something that feels ¬†totally uncomfortable – as ¬†least ¬†in the beginning stages, anyway… ¬†right? Ever ¬†feel like your whole life is catapulting you towards something beautiful? ¬†Something you haven’t even ¬†yet fulled ¬†embraced in your ¬†conscious life? ¬†But its ¬†sole embedded in your ¬† sub-conscious and it’s yet calling you, even deep in your spirit — sometimes in ¬†your sleep; and then in your dreams, yet again and a again? ¬† well ¬†let me ¬†tell you … (the other night I had a dream ¬†I w as creating a ¬† curriculum about ¬†the subconscious mind and ¬†the conscious mind and how they conflict with or ¬†come against ¬†some times the mind of ¬†Christ. ) I was writing a program with a specific person ¬† just like that…! ¬†Hmm.. ¬†I wonder if I should tell her…?) ¬†I feel like I should.. (I will.)
  5. ¬†I ¬†guess the last thing I am embracing is my relationships with other women. I ¬†seem to love ¬†true, authentic women; and I feel I have a knack- if you will – for creating that kind of ¬†group … its happening ! I have made friends, I ¬†have a mentoring group and we talk often about being ¬†healthy and ¬†keeping that healthy mindset primary; now and ¬†I have begun to even ¬†create a women’s mastermind ¬†group! ¬†I am so , so ¬†surprised! ¬†I ¬†guess because this ¬†wasn’t really my ¬†idea or thoughts to do ¬†so in this season of my ¬†life – yet ¬†it was time. It just kind of happened ¬†while I was working on something else. ¬†And it just made ¬†perfect sense to ¬†do! So I did.

Well.. there it is…. here ¬†are ¬† the ¬†five ¬†things I am embracing :

  • ¬†my relationships
  • my ¬†discipline and leadership role, fully
  • my ¬† social life
  • my projects and ¬†authentic roles
  • my new assignment ¬†with ¬† addictions and people ¬†struggling with them.

   

This is ¬†“spiritual self care” ¬†ladies, ¬†be aware on ¬†a level where you self-evaluate¬†regularly so you can ¬† cultivate and acknowledge your own goodness and growth process.

Selah. 

¬†(….and.. whew! Its been ¬†quite a ¬†new year!)

On Insightfulness.

I Am Enough Because I Am  Insightful.

Being Insightful requires we are intuitive. We think clearly. we consider and that we make decisions. For a very long time, I did not make decisions. I chose not to. Because I was too afraid. I decided that if I made a decision someone would suffer, and that person most like would be someone I loved. And of course, it would be me, as well. I was in a relationship where I wasn’t treated very well, and ¬†I chose to stay. I did think of leaving¬†…more than once. Yet¬†I suffered. ¬†I decided the day I made the decision to move on, that I would not be in a relationship again until I knew “who I was”, in that relationship. Because I had gone so long in this¬†relationship without an identity. So long… and didn’t change anything about myself. How crucial it was, to own my soul. ¬†Every time ¬†I gave it away, I wold give away a piece of myself. I decided that I would work on ¬†changing myself, and to stop dreaming. I wrote down on a piece of paper all the things that were wrong. ¬†It turns out , those things were the things that hurt me the most, and had begun to leave scars. So I needed to leave, in order to no longer be treated that way.

And I did. The day I chose to leave, several my destiny began to be¬†released to me. I began to be happier. ¬†I felt a ¬†weight lift off of my chest. I began to smile more, and care less about the person who hurt me, and more about myself first; because for the first time I saw surprise in their eyes. They couldn’t predict my actions. And that was good stuff. ¬†And that surprise to me was a sign I was doing something right. So, I ¬†began to move along and do more out of the box –¬†¬†selfish, ¬†yet self-loving acts.

Before I left ¬†the relationship, I was really meditating on hearing my spirit more, and one of the ¬†phrases I heard often was: “Take care of ¬†the God in you.” The God in me, was loving, caring full of strength, love and full consideration of how to love others back in a righteous way, and that, I wanted to model for others, and for my children, one day as well. ¬†I began to keep my ears keen for people who demonstrated the same kind of love for me, and ¬†on the weekend of October 14th, 2005, I heard it. It as very keen,¬†and it was ¬†exactly what I was looking for. Although l really didn’t expect it so soon. A man I didn’t know very well, (yet considered a friend from a leadership event a year before) , began to speak to my heart. We talked ¬†for ours that weekend. And it was as if every moment was absorbed ¬†through my ears, into my skin, ¬†and ¬†right straight into my heart. He spoke to my worth. That honorable and ¬†distinguished man became my husband. ¬†All of the junk ¬†and the misconceptions and lies were washed out, and my head was clear enough to hear it.

I decided that day, I would begin a new journey to loving me, because I knew once I began to truly love myself,   I would feel completely deserving o my own good. And even when opportunities presented, I would find them to grace my life with complete favor.

Insight involves  three beautiful life-changing  factors:

  1. ¬†Intuition. Intuition¬†¬†is¬†described¬†as : “the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.” There are some issues we¬†experience¬†in life, we just know. We don’t know ‘how we know, but like my former pastor in¬†Texas¬†used to say:“We just know it in our knower.” I ave collected ¬†and meditated even,¬†upon this thought over and over when I needed to make a the right decision, and ¬†depending upon my “knower” was ¬†always what held me upright and allowed me to keep my head up – without shame, in the end.
  2. Knowledge. Knowledge because it takes  the sifting of what we learn via our intuition, to help us move forwards without disgrace. and move forward with our heads held high in confidence we are moving in the right direction.
  3. ¬†Understanding.¬†Understanding¬†is like to icing on the cake. Once you have ¬†a good taste of it, it helps ¬†sort of¬†says wit you and gives you ¬†that” forever-flavor’ in life. ¬†If you have¬†forever” flavor”, you have ¬†wisdom. The Bible¬†says ”¬†The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” ESV. It also tells us ¬†to even not rely on our own understanding. I have seen far too many rely on it, and fall back on shame. And often disgrace, for a lifetime.

When you don’t have these three awesome factors, ¬†you ¬†fall upon inexperience, naivete’ ¬†you become neglectful, it effects your reputations and you ¬†become really insensitive towards others. I used to always pray for God to keep me humble, Sometimes I believe the results of those prayers today are embedded in my character, ¬†with insight, because I ¬†listened within, and I heard myself speak in my heart, as well as my soul.

I  prompt you today:

To LISTEN to yourself. ¬†Remind yourself constantly of what you believe in, and then… ¬†walk it out.

As long as it protects your thought life, your reputation, your spirit, and your life hold onto what you believe!

Question: 

When was the last time you listened to someone else before yourself, and how much did it cost you?

(You don’t even have to say what ¬†the circumstance involved –¬†¬†just ¬†share how much it cost you.)

JennRene | April 5, 2015 (written)

Fill Your Own Wells, FIRST.

This read is about filling up your own personal wells. What is a well used for? For drinking, to offer up thirst to those who are thirsty and in need for quenching. If indeed you are for this purpose, for others to draw from in any form or fashion, whether it be for being a great and intuitive leader, a friend a parent or sister or wife, you have this purpose. So … consider filling up your own well FIRST.

Crazy Confessions. ‚ÄĒ Pursuing Me: Seeking The Blessedness in Being..

So I’ve retitled this at some point on another blog, about “being imperfect.”
It’s ok not be perfect, you know. Stop trying to force it. Just do a little here and there. One day at a time.

I have a confession to make: I am a writer, and I haven’t felt like writing much in the last three months or so. I also find that I am not very consistent. There are times when my head and thoughts are so jumbled, I can’t even think straight. I have a fear of passing […]

via Crazy Confessions. ‚ÄĒ Pursuing Me: Seeking The Blessedness in Being…

I ” Take Care” of My Relationships, My Perspective, and Myself!

I have some  REALLY good friends. By no choices of mine, I am certain. I believe all friendships are divine intersections and  appointments in life. Some we meet and we connect, others we  leave behind after a season, but some we remain in contact from afar. But anyway, that’s not the point.

This ¬†blog is about self care. ¬†I really couldn‚Äôt BELIEVE when I searched through my archives I couldn‚Äôt find one on ‚Äúself care‚ÄĚ, being that I concentrate ¬†very carefully, on this subject. It must be an indication that I must write MORE on ¬†the subject.
Well, first I  shall define it… then I will send this wonderful email my friend send me… ( apologizes …source  unknown.) but while I was looking for it on the net.. I came across  this  GREAT ADVICE  in another little blog about  30 Things to Stop Doing To Yourself.
So here‚Äôs a really cool definition of “Self Care” I found some place in my work I do with women:
‚ÄúSelf-care means honoring and respecting the miraculous being that you are. Self-care means learning to listen with the ear of a dedicated mother to your physical, emotional, spiritual, and relationship needs, and then taking full responsibility for getting them met. Self-care means taking 100% responsibility for creating an environment that nurtures your physical, emotional, and spiritual selves.‚ÄĚ
 Cabin house_0114.jpg
WOW…. ok! Pretty neat, huh?
So here’s what she sent me and I love how they break it up into several paragraphs for clarity’s sake.
Taking Care of You
  • Drink plenty of water.
  • Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.
  • Eat more fruits and vegetables and eat less that is manufactured in processing plants. Avoid eating food that is handed to you through a window.
  • Live the 3 E‚Äôs ‚ÄĒ Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
  • Play more games.
  • Read more books than you did in 2009.
  • Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
  • Sleep for 7 hours.
  • Take a 10-30 minute walk daily.
  • And while you walk, smile.
Your Outlook
  • Don‚Äôt compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  • Don‚Äôt have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
  • Don‚Äôt overdo. Keep your limits.
  • Don‚Äôt take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  • Don‚Äôt waste your precious energy on gossip.
  • Dream more while you are awake.
  • Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  • Forget issues of the past. Don‚Äôt remind others of their past mistakes.
  • Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Make peace with your past so it won‚Äôt spoil the present. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  • Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
  • Learn a new word every day.
  • Smile and laugh more. You don‚Äôt have to win every argument.
Your Relationships
  • Call your family often.
  • Each day give something good to others.
  • Forgive everyone for everything.
  • Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
  • What other people think of you is none of your business.
  • Your job won‚Äôt take care of you when you are sick.
  • Your friends will. Stay in touch.

 

I Am Enough Because I Care.

Have you checked your “care” barometer, lately?

The care I am  talking about is:

1.) Self-Care …

2.) Personal ¬†Development as care, ¬†and …

3.) Care that involves you  being  a caring individual in this society.

If you haven‚Äôt ¬†been the ¬†most caring individual lately, it’s ¬†likely you¬†haven‚Äôt¬†reached out to anyone in a thoughtful way, lately. ¬† But that’s the norm sometimes. ¬†It’s hard isn’t it? ¬† We can barely care for ourselves, so how do we manage to reach out to others? I know. I am guilty. ¬†I remember once, ¬†I was in church, and the pastor was ¬†saying if we want to make a difference:” Ask God to help you be a blessing to someone else.”

It was deep that entire week, I was the most compassionate human being  I had been in a long while.  I had started something.

I ¬†am a person who cares for others. ¬†In many ways it’s my profession, yet also in several¬†ways, its also my ¬†calling. ¬† I care¬†because¬†someone cared for me. To be¬†honest, I am not sure caring would come as easily as it does, or had I not gone through a few ¬†situations¬†to ¬†cause me to be cared for. And have people¬†reach¬†out to me, in very merciful ways. I am very thankful God is in my life,¬†because¬†caring took on a new¬†meaning¬† for me when I met a few sisters and brothers who love God, in a very ¬† caring and ¬†completely ¬†selfless way. ¬† I remember a¬†time¬†when I was ‚Äúcar-less‚ÄĚ. My car broke down, ¬†and since I was separated¬†from my first husband, I¬†didn‚Äôt¬†have an extra car‚Ķand I ¬†was devastated. ‚ÄúHow was I going to get to work?!

jen-woods-photo

How was I going to go grocery shopping? And how was I going to take care of all my business?‚ÄĚ I¬†already felt alone form being by myself that summer and things were looking pretty bleak. I believe it was a¬†Friday, and my car caught on fire in the parking lot where I work. The engine just blew on me. I ¬†remember having tons of hope, though. I was encouraged. Why.. I don‚Äôt know, but I just began to count my blessings,¬†because¬†there were so many things going well for me, that ¬†I¬†couldn‚Äôt¬†complain. ¬† I¬†wasn‚Äôt¬†working that¬†summer, and I ¬†found out I could get¬†employment¬†during the summer months, and I wasn‚Äôt even expecting it. ¬†As surprised as I was, I was completely hopeful things would work out. ¬†I went to church that Sunday with a smile on my face, and telling every one it would work out, just by a¬†testimony, and ¬†I as thanking God. After church, two¬†people¬†came to me and said , ‚ÄúHey, I have a car you can use ¬†its our second car, we don‚Äôt use it very much, but we‚Äôd like to bless you. Another friends, said:‚ÄĚ I am¬†going¬†out of town for two weeks, and you are welcome to hold the keys to mine.‚ÄĚ I was shocked! These two persons will be forever imprinted on my life and a part of my compassion ¬†list of people who care.. ¬†I ¬†still love them very much to this day. And not just¬†because¬†they gave me something, but¬†because¬†I saw God in their actions, and¬†they¬†made ¬†me smile and believe God even more.

I have had aunts, friends,  and  people in my life who knew me and knew how devastated, broken unloved and  hurt I have been in situations and  man, when you are down, and you have even more to struggle with,  as a result of being down, it’s just good to have someone reach out and love on you.  It feels  really, really good, to have someone come and give you a makeover to your office when you feel so disorganized Р(my girlfriend in Texas); or someone to give you the keys to a car when you  have none ( my   former church member friend in  NY), or for someone to buy you a meal when you are starving and have no money. ( My friend  and sister in Christ.)

I was once even was kicked out of someone’s home, and had no place to go, and a friend stepped in and opened up their home to me!   I have been on the other end, and I tell you, as  great as it felt to receive, it feels even better to give.

Just today, ¬†I was ¬†out with my best friend – ¬†and we got ¬†pedicures – ¬†and we just had lunch together. ( Uh… that would be my husband. ¬†But don’t tell him I told you that!) ¬† Haha…. And that was self care. ¬†Was it expensive/. Sure was… but it felt so good to be pampered, and his smile, having ¬†done this for the first time.. was priceless.

We all need a little pampering sometime. Ask your self how you  can be instrumental in this process and give yourself some  time, once a month, at least to : DO YOU. Alright?

So I admonish  you, WATCH who God has sent to cross your path. Be aware of those around you. Love on them.  Pay attention to detail in your life, and how you benefit from being in right relationship with them. Feel their sorrow with them.  Ask them if they need anything. Call them and tell them you love them, even if it does mean feeling vulnerable  for a moment. It’s ok.  And you will  see them turn toward you, or turn a little closer towards God, if that’s the hope you desire to give. I have learned so much from such giving people in my life about how to treat others when they are down.

¬†And ASK yourself? What’s my spirit and soul like today? Do I feel drained, out of touch with myself, has life bee a little figgy, lately/. Then COMMIT to self care. ¬†I have created a ¬†self care course called “The Rhythm-Conscious Life:¬†A Self-Care Course for Steadying Your Life.” This course¬†will¬†¬†help you with this process. ¬† Join us, by clicking here.

God can work even greater in you, when you  are open and have such a surrendered heart.