embedding…
MentorđMySister
Authentic Women, Authentic Resolve, Authentic Connection.
-
embedding…
-
Hello. October was all about the word Shine. So let me share what the mean it of the word emphasizes. To Shine means: To have significance: (the quality of being worthy of attention); the quality of being important. Synonyms of this special word are: to have heart, sense , understanding, force, or meaning.
I bet when you thought of Shining this wasnât at the forefront of your mind, huh?
I chose a word that was a bit difficult to practice this month. Not because I couldnât practice it, it was because I have to receive the word a bit differently. One of the things that caught me off guard was how much it takes to Shine⊠especially when you are not feeling the best.
Photography by You Are So Beautiful Photography
Me driving to work one morning.Shining matters within, our personalities and out outer appearance, at times- and also on the outside of our lives: how we cherish moments with the special people in our lives. My momma always told me: âActions speak louder than words.â The parts of our lives where no one notices – but you, your family and your children. It matters to them, it matters to God. That we let our âlights shineâ no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing.
Iâve learned that wherever I am leaving a legacy of truth and discipline, hope, influence, purpose and good communication, those are places where I truly shine I also am shining where I am a positive and showing meaningful leadership. Where I care for others and remain positive, even when other around me, are not.
Where everyone in my life sped things up this weekend, I decided to slow it down. If I cannot hear myself for the sake of moving too fast, then I may need to turn the volume down. Am I taking time for that family member? Am I spending quality time with that loved one? Will this matter in five or ten years? Will it matter later this week? Just another positive way to think about whether âtimeâ is mine, or it truly belongs to someone else.
Having had a birthday this past week, one of the things I am learning is to count the cost of everything⊠even the ones you miss. Sometimes the moments that matter most, are the ones you missed.
Why not slow it down, decided to do something different, make someone smile by choosing to do the one thing you normally would not have done, and bless them with the gift of time.
I am grateful for this month, because although I wasnât feeling my best for most of the month, I took advantage of â how I feltâ, and instead of complaining , I made the most of it. And that involved shining, being grateful and giving thanks for what I have.
So when you slow it down this month, spend a little time reflecting on the Who, What, Where, Why and When⊠and even the âHowâ – âcause it all matters. Plan something very intentional, yet not work related. Take a Sabbath day. Change it up. Love on someone ⊠Just because âŠand it will return unto you.
Share a few places where youâve been shining lately very intentionallyâŠ.
I took this on Lake Ontario, in Rochester NY Did you enjoy this reading? If so, visit my newsletter and get regular updated reading in which you can practice self- actualization exercises. We are located at the Mentor My Sister site, simply click here.
-
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ever-evolving-a-product-of-mentor-my-sister/id1553148980
Join Mentor My Sister Podcast on Apple Itunes! We talk about awesome things.
If you don’t have it, here is where we are on Spotify and there are other links where you frequent your podcast- just google them.
https://open.spotify.com/show/3hcyWw1uM3BBthMF9CDaEX?si=L3hF8EU9QHamBfJ-3rr-bQ
-
So tonight I just sat in silence.
Well âŠactually , I listened my spirit- and then I found myself some place where I was âsupposed to beâ after work, and ended up at a special solemn event . And I pondered on how precious life is, and how if the same event happened to me, what would I want someone to do.
And that was just showing up. Showing up, thatâs all.
It turned out to be a special day, because the things I had planned, yet I didnât really do . I just let my spirit guide me. I listened within, and )with the exception of the french fries I ordered & that I didnât need), Iâd say I was alright . In the pensiveness , I thought about connecting with family⊠and I did . God knows I donât do this enough. Yet, itâs pretty special when I do.
Iâve decided I enjoy connecting with people much more than I knew. I am usually very selfish with my time.
I am not certain I like that. I found out today that âmissing connectionâ is just not the way to live. And that I need to be more intentional about it. After itâs not about me.
What isnât ?
Life. Circumstance. Connection.
So at the top of the morning I do some form of meditation and/or yoga. Then I listen to worship on the way to work, & I am pumped up, feel a bit lighter , and I settle on a work. Life is pretty eventful after that. Itâs like a strong wind blowing⊠consistently ..and then by the time I am off itâs 4:30 & itâs time to get off. I got this title from the fact that one of âlil stickersâ followed me to work one day and itâs still there on my computer frame. . It said âsunshine mixed with a little hurricane.â (Describes my job to a T.) It was on my pants pocket and my boss pointed it out to me: saying: â Jenn, you have a sticker or something on your pants.â I said :âOh! Thanks⊠thought about it, and where it might have come from, & she asked : which one are you? âThe sunshine or the hurricane?â Without a beat, I said : âSunshine all the way, baby!â and everyone laughed.
This wasnât a coincidence . I have to be sunshine on the job circuit because it can be that stressful sometimes we must find out how to connect âauthenticallyâ.
I thought about being sunshine. And I noticed I woke up following the sun to work today . Check out this pic! I guess if the shoe fits, wear it, right?
I guess where youâll find me is following my intuition and forever observing spaces where I can reflect sunlight.
Thatâs just who I am.
me being led by the sunshine. -
Water and sun. They are so rejuvenating. If you’re ever feeling lost, or like the world is caving in, spend time in water near water, watching water the movement of it, the sound of it, even drinking water can be so necessary…
It’s so needed for the soul , spirit and preservation of our bodies. Perhaps that’s why we are surrounded by it on so many parts of the earth. Perhaps that’s why it has such a quality of drawing people near it, and we yearn for a sail upon it, or to swim in it. To take showers daily. To bathe.
Water is essential for living.
And even without sun, our days are dreary, and uneventful. Gloomy and discouraging, if you will. It’s not until the sun comes out we again, have vigor and satisfaction. When the sun comes out even on a cold wintry day, I am enlightened and I have hope. Sun is necessary for an essential vitamin we need to thrive . Vitamin D. Imagine that, a vitamin, made out of of the biggest lights in the sky. Someone thought of a your need – on a level you were not even fully aware of, with longevity .
This summer was so special to me. I spent a lot of time outdoors , and on the beach in quiet contemplation and in meditation with the elements of sun and water. Together, they taught me a lot. As I attempted to find answers to some things about life, it was near water where I learned to acquiesce. To let go of some thoughts and feelings I could not understand, even somethings I had trouble accepting about myself. I was able to release them. There was such a cleansing of my soul as I whispered thoughts and prayers to my Maker. Spend time in the elements of water & sun.
They were made for you .đș
-
So next month I’m going to center on Joy. It’s the Sept. word of the month. I started months ago searching for this one, because I believe joy can be so illusive. People can say they have it but u until it’s full & encompassing your entire being I don’t really believe you have it, completely.
I’ve had a few joyful moments this month, and last month and so now I believe I can write about it with some experience.
Here are a few of my beliefs about true joy:
1. True joy involve gratefulness as a practice.
I don’t believe you can be truly appreciative of joy until you learn how to practice gratefulness. An appreciation of the big and the small is the requirements for joy, then giving thanks for its source .
2. Joy involves elation.
You must participates with something that makes you feel the elation over the course of a few hours or days or as part of an experience. True joyfulness stays within, and it lasts and it makes those things you enjoy desire to maintain and ebb and flow. A way to capture and continue in that pattern is what you desire to take in the future . True joyfulness involves meaning – making and reflection.
3. Joy is an experience . It has to register as something that makes you fulfilled, and involves the senses: touch , taste, smell, hearing and sight. It might be that all of these are expressed and or experienced at once, or they come in waves. Yet they are present.
And as the days go along in September, I’ll share the joy.
Stay tuned and engaged this September. I’m thinking i’m going to learn a lot.đș
-
Complacency is the word this month! This was challenging word, because it quite possibly the first word I chose to look at closely that was not a word that was positive. But we will make the experience of communicating the positive- with this word, because it is what can make us change.
So…. what does it mean to be complacent?
It is defined as an often unjustified feeling of being pleased with oneself or with one’s situation or achievements
a momentary complacency that was quickly dispelled by the shock of cold reality.What I don’t like abut complacency is that it slows you down. it limits your success, and it appears to make us very comfortable and it sneaks up on you and can be quite subtle.
In my head – I lived in a ‘FOG‘ – I was not successful in accomplishing things in my life due to being ‘too comfortable’ in my life. Either with my time, my actions, too much money, people enabling me, or struggling with my own identity – I wouldn’t put the work in… you know, do the things necessary for change. You could say I had a lazy mentality. Yeah, I hate the word lazy. I consider myself quite productive. Yet I was sadly not doing what was required to be whole. And this is where I would falter with complacency. I allowed complacency to become my ‘friend’, instead of my foe. And beause it was so subtle, it made me realize I had more WORK TO DO.
I am going to even venture to say : Complacency was my enemy because I was ‘numbing’ to some of the things in life I didn’t want to see. (…And I will talk more about that in another blog post.)
I am complacent with my energy. That’s my confession today. I tend allow things that are not very important, be quite important, or be more important than they should. And get this: THEY ARENT really very important!!
If I complacent with taking vitamins, eating well, or exercising – I tend to take these things for granted in terms of how I deal with my energy and make time for my health and betterment of myself.
In the space and time of resounding and being strong, I have been complacent with my words and actions. I was too comfortable in spaces, and convinced myself I was, ” comfortable”, but I really wasn’t. I was people pleasing. In those familiar spaces, I sacrificed myself – and when I did this, I was not allowing myself to speak up and speak my truth. All those are moments when I sacrificed myself. Do we want to sacrifice what is precious, what is on the altar of our hearts – this sacred space in our lives? Where “We matter”? If we speak our truth in the moment, we free ourselves. We have to grasp those moments where we tend to freeze or become silent, and we don’t speak – we sacrifice a part of our own identity. We have to say the things that matter.
A few synonyms for complacency: “bighead-edness”, conceitedness, ego, pompousness, pride, self-admiration, self-assumption, self-conceit, smugness, vainglory, vanity.”Hmmm.. something to think about…
Antonyms for complacency: humbleness, humility, modesty. What a contrast. These are the things that often prevent the gem of ‘humility’ and change to give birth, in our souls.Humbly submitted.
Nthabiseng AKA JennRene Owens
-
Ever wished you had pushed record on the tape you played about losing your voice?
Well I did, today.
Not literally, but figuratively.
I just kept the recording playing in my mind of how important it is to say what I need to say, and say it firmly enough, that Iâm heard.
But not so much to others, really. That I say it firmly enough that âI believe itâ, it matters and it cements within my soul .And reverberates. To reverberate means to: reflect repel or ( to resist). Resistance can be a powerful thing of placed in a powerful situation. Thatâs when it involves permanence. It stays in place. Has impact. Or in other words, it involves making myself âhappyâ.Some things in life are meant to be said. And others are not. There are some things when they are said, they resound reverberate . They matter .
Like when someone said after a man died on public television, that Black Lives Matter . And the whole world resounded and reverberated to that vibe , that truthâŠ.and responded with marches, and protests and people all over the world saying the same. Black lives matter . Some of them even saying it for the first time, and others really understanding it , for the first time.When thoughts and feelings and a knowingness becomes alive⊠thatâs when self – love matters, reverberates. for me. When âI matterâ⊠I resound. And I reverberate . And you know, what that looks like is me deciding thatI will say what I feel , what I think , and I will âbe what my name meansâ. So let me talk about my name: My African name. My name is Nthabiseng. Nthabiseng means âMake Me Happyâ
I know, for you this may not mean a thing, but for me, this name when given to me, and I was crowned by it- it meant âLife- Changeâ.
And life- change meant that âI have volition. I may not have know this before , yet iâm here now to use what matters. It meant : â I have agency.âSelah. *{pause & calmly think of that}
You know, for women , this is not a topic women often choose to talk about. Words that make us even more complacent, like weak, low self esteem, and â being silenced â all come from places where we were ânot allowed to become .â Not allowed to be our true selves. Where we have painted our walls with shame – not opened our eyes for opening them would have meant we had to open our mouths too,⊠& recognizing that âspeaking upâ may have been too costly in places before , where shame was bred.Yet now, we are free.
We determine that being strong looks like having confidence using our voices and making use of our own volition, not as a ârightâ – but as a necessity, a need and as we we evolve – we become women we never even imagined we could be.
And guys this goes for you all, too.
When you speak up, you evolve.
You prosper.
You grow.
You are Successful.
Selah.
my flowers blossoming.
